It's hard to realized the fact sometime how materialistic and realistic people are in this world. Unless they really like you or can do them good, sux it up, nobody's gonna care about you and what you do. The evil has its deep root onto human's soul. Selfishness, Egoism, Moralness. It's just like everyone praying for the good deeds and worshiping for the good causes, but when it really comes to the true call, everyone shreds away. Everyone's bearing a fake mask.

喜欢上同样喜欢你的叫幸福，喜欢上不喜欢你的叫痛苦，犹豫不决是否喜欢上她的叫迷糊，没喜欢上喜欢你的叫执著， 放弃所喜欢的叫糊涂。 感情世界的复杂永远是摸不清，理不透。 平静了一段日子，最近我仿佛又开始被感情的事烦恼着。 喜欢上一个人为什么对我来说总是那么困难。 喜欢上一个人的定义又是什么？ 朋友经常劝说我犹豫不决，拿不定主意。 有的机遇明摆着我却舍弃，又有人说我眼光太高。 或许吧。 感情方面我承认我一向很执著。 我并不想轻率了事，可是有些机会过了就不再有。 我该怎么办？

I'm so excited my bookshelf finally arrived today. My five boxes of books that have been gathering dust at corners for the past several months can now finally find a comfy shiny-glorious looking home. :D
I'm so loving it!! It got five levels, large and spacious! I took a picture of it so I can post it up here. I absolutely think that this is gotta be one of the best gifts that I have given myself and it will keep me happy for many many days

Alot of things have been fast track back and forth in the past couple weeks as I'm trying to recover and keep pace with my momentum in life. I've been more busy than ever and as it seemed that all my time has been pretty much all tightened up. Aside from my typical work days, Monday's night I have class at John Hopkins, Wednesday's my karate training night, Thursday's my tutoring night at Baltimore County Community College, weekend's devoted to my study and project assignments. In between, I find time slot to do my workout, to make up hours for my training and to fill in all my other extra-curriculum activities.

When I do get some free times, that's when I have a chance to work on my site which I ultimately enjoy alot. But lately, I'm having alot of difficulty and negative experiences dealing with my ex domain provider. I have no choice but to switch out. That cost me a great deal of time and $$ for the migration.

For the past two weeks, I have been consistently staying up past 2 in the morning trying to get most time out of my day. Obviously, I'm not very satisfied with all the time I got. But when I do that consistently, the fatigue kicks in eventually. I felt my body has been lagging behind lately.

I need sleep, but I need more time as well!

I guess I did another amazing thing today for the humanity cause. I signed up as a volunteer math tutor for the Baltimore County Community College. It is a two months commitment to begin with, tutoring at all levels of math and with the possibility of getting part time teaching tenture. The lady at the department said they are desperately in need of tutors. But the way she described it were so freaking scary. "98% of our students here need help of some form. Some even have problem conceiving 2 - 3" she said. I hope she did not literally means that. Anyway, I look forward to my first day of tutoring. Indeed I wonder.

It was desvastating when my file space were wiped and my site was down for the last 5 days. It was more furiating and total upset when my tech supports did nothing to help. Somehow I had this feeling that they were retaliating against me for bashing and making negative comments of them. They were slow at responding, very unprofession and terrible at supports. I made it clear to them that if nothing were done by yesterday, I will quit their service. I spent more than 4 hours with them over 10 chat sessions. Still nothing were taken care of. I was about to quit when the quality assurance group got back to me. They restored my file within less than half an hour. That furiated me more. Why couldn't the technicans does that 5 days ago when it is as simple as restoring my data? I also found out that they have the same 'out-source' technicians handling sale, customer support, and tech service. Seriously, unless they make effort to improve it, I assure they will lose revenue very soon!

What has happened I don't know, but for once I was feeling very happy and hyper tonight. Some nerves must had tangled up. I couldn't help smiling and chuckling up. The joy was there and overwhelming. The feeling brings back the old me where I was all inpired and energized to take on the world. There was no perception of fear, no doubt of my ability to tramp all inpossibilities. I feel loved and the life's all wonderful.

That was the feeling I lost a long while ago when I turned myself over to the reality. The pessimism hitted me as I became more obesessed over life. Once in a while, a shred of light dim through. I supposed that's what happened tonight.

Nonetheless, the renew feeling was awesomely great. Many happy thoughts subsequently flows throught. I thought about how lucky I'm, having a wonderful family and many wonderful friends. I thought about my career,having a solid path and positive future. I shoved away all the negative thoughts or rather I perceive them positively.

Indeed I'm on the path of budha enlightenment...

I hope for that feeling to lasts endlessly...